Cuts Will Hurt....At First- Chapter 6- November 18th, 3:30 PM

After being brutally attacked, Kyle is wits ends with everything, and he starts to do the unthinkable.

 I limp home, barely. I’m in so much pain, but I can’t let my mom see me like this because she will want to know what is going on. I’ve had bad days, but nothing comes worse to this.

            I check myself over with the camera in my phone, I have a short red cut on my right cheek and my hair is messy and my leg hurts, but I hope she won’t notice that. I sigh and open the door. I don’t see her in the kitchen, she might be upstairs.

            “Mom.” I call as I close the door behind me. I hear nothing. Weird. She is usually home by now. I check the living room, no one there. No noise, no nothing, it’s silent. I hope nothing happened I think to myself. I start freaking out a little inside as I climb the first stair. I slowly make myself upstairs and check the bathroom, nothing. Bedroom? Still nothing. Finally, her bedroom. The door is shut and I stare at it, I’m afraid if I see anything I don’t like on the other side. Maybe I’m just paranoid I tell myself. I shake my head, no no, nothing would happen like that. I slowly creek the door open. I peer in, it looks normal. I slowly open the rest of the door, fearing the worst. Nothing, her room is normal and no one is here. I sigh in relief.

            I go back downstairs and down to the basement, I go halfway down and notice that my mom’s car isn’t in the garage yet. Phew. She isn’t home yet. Maybe she is at the grocery store or something.

            Back to reality. I go back upstairs and go into my room. I open the door. It’s messy like usually. The shade is closed, clothes are throw everywhere and everything is where I left it. I plop down on my bed and take off my pants and put some loose fitting shorts on. I examine the cut on my cheek and stiffness of my leg. I also still have the cut on my hand from last night that surprising still no one has noticed. I have a mirror above my dresser, and I get off my bed and just look at myself. I hate looking at myself. I know I’m not attractive, I know I don’t have the pretty eyes or the nice hair, I just look disgusting. Now, with all the cuts and bruises, I look even worse. Way to go self-esteem, it plummets again. I look down, my eyes are droopy, and I can’t feel no more, life means hardly nothing anymore. I look up again and I see a tear coming down my face, I let it come down, no reason to hold it back.

            I plop back down on my bed and turn to the wall and just think. These last twenty-four hours have felt incredibly long and painful. I feel like everything has gone wrong. I still feel violated and molested. I can’t tell anyone because if I do, he is going to find me and probably kill me, I might just save him the trouble because this burden and pain is almost too much.

            Maybe people don’t understand that words can hurt you, but it’s what drive someone to want to kill themselves. I roll over to my stomach and slowly cry myself to sleep.

            I wake up on my side. Dry tears are now stuck to face. I wonder what time it is. I check my phone. 5:25 PM, I fell asleep for almost two hours. Before I put my phone down, I notice I have a notification from Facebook. I unlock my phone and go straight to Facebook. My phone won’t load, its slow, I hardly ever get notifications. I got tagged in a status. I read it. I burst out in tears, I throw my phone straight at the wall! I cover my face, no deserves to see my face ever again! Diana Rickson: Hopefully that little dumb queer a*s doesn’t try to mess with my man again. Why don’t you just put everyone else out of their misery and go blow your brains out! Ha-ha! With Kyle Jenson. Diane is Jake’s girlfriend. She is such a s**t. I can’t bare this world no more, this is becoming too hard! I sit there for almost five minutes sobbing, I look like a little weakling. I wipe my tears away, my face is red hot, and I don’t care. I go downstairs, it’s dark outside, and still my mom isn’t home yet. Strange. She is almost always home at this time, I know she doesn’t like driving in the dark. I head downstairs to the basement, turn on the basement light and look for my Swiss army knife. I’ve always kept for different things, mostly when I use to go hunting, but I’ve never used it this way, and I know it’s going to be risky, but I have to do this before my mom gets home.

            I go back upstairs and then upstairs to my bathroom. I roll up my sleeve on my sweatshirt. I stare at my arm and wrist. Am I really going to do this? I have to, there is no other releasing my pain. I touch the blade to my skin. It is going to hurt, but I don’t care at this point. I push the point a little into my skin and put a little pressure on it. Ouch! That hurt more than I thought it would. I breathe in and out for a couple seconds. I put the blade where it didn’t cut, but just scratched. I push down a little more, I close my eyes and let it happen. A small stream of blood goes down my arm, I wipe it up. I stare at the cut. I never thought I would ever cut, but it just happened. It felt good. I released some of the pain through lithium.

            I didn’t cut deep, but deep enough to make it bleed a little. I roll my sweatshirt down, I can’t let anyone to see this, and I don’t want to be going to the hospital to see a physiologist. I will be going to the hospital soon. To the morgue.

           

 

Reviews

[Maya Jane]

This is what so many kids do now because they feel they have no other way out. I can relate to this. I'm hoping things turn around for Kyle sooner rather than later. When it's too late.

[Linds]

Diane is a b***h. Poor Kyle! I feel so bad for him!