Shock of His Life- Chapter 30- February 11th 6:05 PM

“Brad! How? I thought you were dead?”

            “I tricked you little brother, the whole thing was a scheme.”

            “What do you mean?

            “I really did get into a car accident, but I faked the whole being dead thing because I knew you would react to it, and I knew you still needed help, but I knew you wouldn’t listen to me, so I staged this.” I didn’t care what he did because all I cared about was that my brother is alive!

            “How?”

            “I became conscious an hour or so before you came into the room with Mom, so Dad and I hatched this plan to make you be forced in here. We had Mom fooled for a second, but he told her to be shocked, and then I opened my eyes. I broke my leg in the crash, but the hospital let me go early so I could come see you.” Brad, you little s**t that I love! I can’t believe he faked being dead to make my life better, and this makes my life unbelievably better, I cannot believe this is actually happening! I still can’t stop crying because I’m in disbelief.

            “We wanted to surprise you!” My mom told me.

            “Yeah, this is unbelievable!” Jamie comments. I let go of him slowly so I didn’t hurt him.

            “You sure surprised me for sure!” I can’t stop smiling. “How did you make all of this happen?” I ask my mom.

            “Once we got the approval from the hospital to how Brad take a trip outside of the hospital for about an hour, Brad mentioned he wanted to see you, so we talked to Michelle, the administrator and she gave us the okay.” Oh my god! This is incredible. This makes up for everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours. The staff closes the door and Jamie and I guides our families to the couches to sit down. My dad helped Brad sit down because he was still in pain.

            “So how are you doing Kyle?” Jamie’s mom asks me.

            “I’m doing okay, I have some personal issues I need to work on, but what happened tonight has definitely helped,” I told her.

            “I’m really glad to hear that,” she says.

            “I thought I was going into this place alone and that was going to make me feel worse, but ironically they put Jamie and I in the same room,” I smile.

            “That’s great honey!” My mom tells me. I hug her tight. “How has your transition been?” She asks.

            “It was rough at first, but ever since I found out that Jamie is here as well, it makes me feel a little better about the whole situation.” I see Victoria coming over towards us.

            “Hi,” she smiles. “You must be Kyle’s family?” She asks.

            “Yes. I’m Heather,” she tells her as she shakes her hand. “This is Tim, his father.

            “Hi, how are you?” My dad asks.

            “I’m great, thank you,” continuing to smile.

            “And this is Brad, his older brother.”

            “Hi Brad!” She waves because she notices that he is in pain. “Is everything alright? Did something happen?” She asks Brad. He grunts and looks up at her.

            “I was in a car accident yesterday morning,” he explains.

            “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

            “Yeah, I was hit head on by a drunk driver.”

            “That is not good, I’m glad you’re not seriously injured.”

            “I was,” he tells her. “I was in and out of consciousness, but finally late last night, I regained consciousness.”

            “It’s incredible that you’re already walking around and everything.”

            “Well, the hospital granted me access to come see Kyle here, but afterwards I need to go back because I need to heal more before I can go home.”

            “Oh, I see.”

            “Well, let me tell you who I am. My name is Victoria, I’m a tech here at HCMH and my job is to basically keep an eye on Kyle and Jamie and to see if they doing alright, follow policies and I’m here if they ever need to talk.”

            “You seem incredible nice so I’m glad you’re here for Kyle.” My dad tells her.

            “Thank you very much Mr. Jenson,” she tells him. “Well, I’ll let all of you interact and I’ll see you guys in a little bit,” she tells Jamie and I. I feel much better knowing that I’ll have someone here for me and I’ll be on medication to control my impulses, but I know I will need therapy for my depression and sexual assault because even if the littlest thing goes wrong, I’ll go off and try to commit suicide again. I’m finally coming to terms with my problems, but I have a long road to go.

            I sit next to Brad the whole time, he doesn’t talk much because I know he’s in pain, but knowing that he is still here is all that matters to me. We all talk about things in our lives that are going on, and for a few minutes, I feel like I have a family again�"not two separate pieces. I miss when we were a family and we would all have dinner together and talk about our days�"we’ve grown distance away from each other. Ever since my parents got a divorce I feel like we are all in the Pacific Ocean and each day we slowly drift away from one another.

            “May I have everyone’s attention?” Michelle announces. The room gets very quiet and everyone looks at her. “It is now 7 PM, which is the end of visitation hour. If all the families could say their final goodbyes and proceed to the front door where they entered. If all of the HCMH’s patients could sit on the couch and stay seated until all of the guests leave. Thank you.”

“I guess its time for you guys to go.” I say.

            “I guess so.” I hug my mom, then my dad. I left Brad for last because I wanted to feel him one more time.

            “Take care little brother,” he tells me. I feel a tear coming on, I don’t want them to leave but they have to.”

            “I will, you too,” I tell him. Jamie and I scout closer to each other as we watch our parents leave out the door. The door opens and I see all of the families exit. My mom glances back me and smiles.

            “The first day is always the toughest,” Jamie tells me.

            “Yeah, I see that,” I say as I wipe a tear away from my eyes. I watch the door close and about half the room get up.

            “You are now free to mingle within the room!” Michelle tells us all. Out of the corner of my eye I notice Victoria coming towards us.

            “How was your visit guys?” She smiles.

            “It is always to see my family, it makes feel comfortable,” Jamie tells her.

            “That’s good. What about you Kyle?” She asks.

            “It was hard,” I look down.

            “Why?” She sits next to me.

            “I thought my brother was dead from that accident, but he’s alive. I’m still in disbelief.”

            “Why did you think your brother was dead?”

            “When I came into his hospital room with my mom, I asked my dad if he was dead and he was tearing up,” I start to tear up again.

            “Then what happened?” She asks me calmly.

            “My dad didn’t say anything so I assumed he was dead. I rushed out of the room and took my mom’s car keys. I sped home and tried to seclude myself and commit suicide, but my Uncle Harry, who is a police officer was there with other officers and they prevented me from suicide.”

            “Well, that’s good.” Yeah, I didn’t want him to save me.

            “I suppose, but my Uncle Harry didn’t know that Brad died, so it was a shock to him as well. Anyways, do you know the cliff behind the hospital?”

            “Yes,” she answers.  

            “My Uncle Harry had me in handcuffs so I couldn’t run away, but I slipped past him and ran as fast as I could so I could jump off that cliff and commit suicide, but he tased me.”

            “Oh wow, Kyle. I didn’t know. I’m glad you’re open with me.”

            “Most people know about my situation so I’m comfortable with telling it.”

            “I’m glad you are. It makes treatment for you a lot easier, and don’t worry we will help you and you’ll walk out of here with a new outlook on life.” I smile. I hope so. Victoria leaves and goes over to Trevor, who is sitting alone at the other end of the room.

            “How ironic is it that we ended up in the place, around the time, in the same room too,” Jamie asks me.

            “Yeah, I know. It’s weird, but I’m glad you’re here with me,” I smile. We both stare at Victoria and Trevor. He seems like he is struggling with her to talk. “I’m very curious why he is in here.” I say.

            “Yeah, he is not much of a talker.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah, he’s almost anti-social.”

            “Maybe I could get him to talk.”

            “You can try, but it’s not easy.”

            “Do you know how long he’s been here?”

            “Someone has told me about three weeks, but I don’t know for sure.”

            “Wow, I guess he loses a lot of points or something.”

            “I don’t know, but he struggles with the tech sometimes.” Victoria leaves and I see Trevor lie down with his hood up. I watch Victoria walk over to her table and mark something on her clipboard.

            “Let’s see if I can talk to him.” I say out loud. I walk across the room and I keep my eyes on Trevor. He doesn’t move or anything. He doesn’t even flinch when I approach him.

            “Hi Trevor,” I say. He doesn’t move, but he acknowledges that I’m there because I see his eyes move in my direction.

            “Hi Kyle,” he says in a whisper. There is an odd silence between us. I believe a sharp steak knife couldn’t break the tension between us for some reason. I just sit next to him and silently let him know that I’m here. I look over at Jamie and he is just staring at me. “Can I help you with something?” He asks me in a snooty tone. Keep cool, Kyle. Be his friend.

            “Well, since I’m going to be your roommate, I guess I’ll have to meet you.”

            “Well hi, can you leave you now?”

            “Nope,” I tell him.

            “Why not!” He sits up and looks at me. He face looks oddly similar, it sends chills down my spine.

            “You look lonely, and I’m lonely too, so we can become friends or something,” I tell him. He turns back over.

            “You have Jamie. I got no one here. No one wants to deal with the anti-social kid.”

            “I want to. I could be your friend,” I slightly smile.

            “No you don’t.”

            “Why not?” I ask.

            “Because you just don’t want to.”

            “There has to be a reason.” He sighs and turns around.

            “You really want to know me?” He asks.

            “I do,” I smile.

            “Meet me here after nighttime meds and we will talk, and then you will see why you don’t want to associate with me.” He turns back around and faces away to me, so I get up and walk away from him. I smile and walk back towards Jamie. I see Jamie is mingling with a girl when I get over there. The girl smiles at me.

            “Hi Kyle,” the girl announces. I am so confused. How does she know my name, but her face does look familiar. Do I know her somehow?

            “Hi?” I says.

            “Do you remember her, Kyle?” Jamie asks me. No, not a chance. I usually have a good memory for faces, but I don’t remember her.

            “No…” I say while slightly smiling. “I’m sorry, maybe I’m in a daze, but I don’t remember you.”

            “Jessica Silverman,” she tells me. Jessica? Jessica? The name sounds familiar. Oh my god, Jessica Silverman from elementary school. She and I use to have a thing with each other. My face turns beat red. I smile uncontrollably.

            “Oh my god, Jessica!” She gets up and hugs me.

            “I haven’t seen you in forever, Kyle.”

            “Yeah, I know. Ever since you moved in 7^th grade, I haven’t seen you at! How have you been?”

            “Lately it hasn’t been very good that is why I’m here,” she tells me.

            “I know I hear you. I’m in the same boat.”

            “What do you think of this place?” She asks me.

            “So far it has been okay, but I just got here today.”

            “Oh okay…” She looks away just slightly to make me feel like something is wrong.”

            “What’s the matter?” I ask.

            “Nothing.” She tells me.

            “Oh.”

            “Attention everyone, could you please grab a chair from the corner and make a circle so we can go our daily goals!” Michelle announces.  I follow Jamie and Jessica to a corner of the room where chairs are stacked high. Jamie grabs reaches up and grabs me a chair.

            “Thanks bud,” I smile. Everyone is gathering in a circle in the middle of the room. Everyone looks so depressed and out of energy. This place is supposed to help people, but instead it tears people down. One of the techs guided the meeting as we all went around and share if we met our daily goals.

            “Now, I know it is hard for some of us to complete the easiest of daily requirements and that is okay because that is why they are here�"to get better,” the tech tells the group. There is about thirty kids in this group; some older than others, but we are here because of a similar reason. Five of the kids share their daily goals and so far everyone has met their goal and things have gone smoothly, but not much talking is going though.

            “Jamie, can you tell us your goals for today and tell us if you achieved them or not,” the tech asks him.

            “My goals for the day was to do my laundry and corporate with my tech,” Jamie replied quietly.

            “And did you meet your goals?”

            “I did corporate with my tech throughout the day, but I didn’t get a chance to do my laundry because my best friend, Kyle,” he quickly glanced at me and smiled. I smiled a little too. “He ironically came to the same facility I did and we got the same room so I helped him out for part of the day,” Jamie told him.

            “That is good that you helped him out. I bet he was very glad that you are here for him,” he told me and him. “And you must be Kyle Jenson?”

            “Yes,” I said slightly smiling.

            “Since you are new here, you haven’t had a chance to set any daily goals so why don’t you tell the group a little bit about yourself.” The tech asks me.

            “Surrrrrre.” I say. Great I have to talk in front of everybody. Wonderful. “Hi everybody.” I start to say. I take a small breath and look around. Only about half the people are looking at me, everyone else is either, looking off into the distance or looking down. “My name is Kyle Jenson, I’m 17 years old, I’m from right here in Hill City and this is my first night here.”

            “Can you tell us some of your favorite things to do or thing you like?”

            “Um… I love my music and drawing,” I tell everyone.

            “That is awesome Kyle. Thank you for sharing,” the tech smiles at me. It takes about another twenty minutes to go around the rest of the group. One girl named Kelli actually had a meltdown because she was on a streak of like eight days of doing her daily goals and today she slipped and didn’t do them. She started crying and when the tech tried talking to her to calm her down she just progressively started hyperventilating and breaking down. I guess it hits some people harder than others if you don’t meet you daily goals, but your tech does mark down that you didn’t do your daily goals and that could prolong your stay here. 

             “Great job everyone!” Michelle announces after we finish our meeting. “If everyone could follow me to the nurse’s station in an evenly formed line and we will get everyone’s medication to them. Jamie follows behind me and I follow Trevor who is in front of me. We all line up against the wall while the nurses and techs gather everyone’s medication. Everyone goes one at a time and the tech watches us to see if we actually take the medication. They give Trevor his cup of pills and his small cup of water.

            “Open,” Victoria asks. Trevor opens his mouth and uncovers his tongue. “Good. Thank you Trevor. Victoria goes back over to a tray at the nurse’s station and grabs two more cups. “Here is your medication Kyle.” I look down at the cup and there is two pills in there like Michelle told me there would be. I tilted the cup up and put them in my mouth. I grab the cup of water from Victoria and swallow the pills at the same time. “Open.” I open my mouth wide and I lift my tongue up so she can see. “Good. Thank you Kyle.” The process is repeated all the way down the line by different techs. We stand there for a good twenty-five minutes before we are dismissed to group room. As we are walking Jamie taps me on the shoulder. I jump a little bit.

            “Sorry,” he tells me.

            “Oh, it’s okay.”

            “We should go get ready before we head to group room. It is easier to do it now because it gets real congested later on,” he tells me.

            “Okay. Yeah, good idea,” I agree. We both head over to where Victoria is standing in the group room. Jamie leads as I follow him.

            “Hey guys,” she smiles.

            “May we go get ready for bed early before it gets too congested?” Jamie asks her.

            “You may,” she smiles. “Thanks for asking and checking in.” I smile at her as we turn around and head towards our room.

            “So what do you think of it here so far?” He asks me as we are walking.

            “It’s not as terrible as I thought it was going to be. I’m hoping I straighten out sooner than later.” We both enter our room and it’s the first time that I’ve actually sat on my bed and it is stiff as a board!

            “God damn!” I say.

            “What is it?” Jamie asks.

            “How do you sleep on this bed?”

            “You don’t that’s the point. I’ll be lucky if I get five hours of sleep in between of tossing and turning. My stuff is still sitting on my bed�"unpacked.

            “I might as well unpacked while I’m getting changed,” I say out loud. Jamie gives me a glance.

            “Probably a good idea so you don’t have to deal with it later.” As I unpack I grab a night shirt and some shorts to wear. I start to head into the bathroom to go get changed.

            “Hey, wait…!” Jamie grabs my arm.

            “Yeah?” In an almost panicked voice.

            “I can just shut door so you don’t have to get changed in there,” he tells me.

            “Oh, okay,” I say as I release my grip on the door handle. Jamie shuts our door and we both get changed. I’ve seen Jamie get undressed plenty of times, but there just something about now that makes me want to rip off all those clothes and f**k him. He catches my glance while he’s trying to put on his bottoms. I quickly scurry my eyes away.

            “What?” He asks.

            “Oh�"nothing. Nothing at all,” I tell him, but I knew he could tell that I was lying.

            “Kyle.” I look up. “I don’t care if you find me attractive. We have been best friends since we were little, and at some point we are going to have some attraction to each other. It’s normal.”

            “But it doesn’t feel normal Jamie!” I walk closer to him. “You’re my best friend, Jamie, and I know we have had some uncomfortable, but needing moment with each other, but I feel like something else is boiling between us.”

            “Kyle,” he puts his hands on my shoulders. “If we are destined to be together then it will happened, but if all we are is best friends, then so be it.”

            “I just don’t want to jeopardize anything,” I tell him while getting a little teary-eyed. He wipes my incoming tears off my face.

            “Nothing will jeopardize our bond that we have,” we hug. I come to the fact that I need to tell him that I want him. I have true genuine feelings towards him and it’s nothing I can control anymore.

            “Look,” Jamie starts to talk as we start to let go. “Being through my whole experience and looking back that I almost lost you pretty much killed me. It made me realize that you are my best friend. You are like a brother to me, but knowing everything, you are the one I want to be with.” Oh. My. God. My mouth literally drops inside my head. I can’t believe he just opened up to me about the same thing I was going to say. “Well,” he says. I shake my head.

            “Sorry.” I look at him, smiling. “You don’t even know how much that meant to me. I’m been attracted to you ever since our little encounter when Shane broke your heart.” S**t, I don’t know if I was supposed to say that.

            “Really?” He asks. Oh, no, here comes to the shock.

            “Why haven’t you told me?” He questions.

            “I’ve been really scared that you would never feel the same way and I wouldn’t want to ruin the best thing that has happened in my life.”

            “Kyle, I would’ve never judged you for being attracted to me. Yes, I would’ve been a little weirded out at first, if I didn’t feel the same way, but I wouldn’t judge you. That makes me feel so much better knowing that. I hug him tightly.

            “Thank you, Jamie!” Holding his body and smelling his cologne for a solid ten seconds was the best medicine that anyone could give me. We look at each other, both smiling and glancing away at times not to make it too awkward. He mouthed the words, “thank you” to me. I placed my hand around his neck and slowly bring him in. I close my eyes tight and just taste his sweet lips. The perfect combination of wetness and taste of his pineapple chapstick. We wouldn’t let go, I didn’t want to let go. Swapping salvia and sharing a true passionate moment with my best friend has definitely been worthwhile. A sudden knock on the door jolted us away from each other and we scurried to separate corners of the room. I made it look like I was still unpacking my stuff, which I was. The door slowly opened.

            “Hey guys!” Victoria comes in.

            “Hi,” I say to her.

            “I was just checking in because you guys are technically supposed to be in the group room.”

            “Oh sorry, I was just trying to get unpacked and changed.”

            “Oh no worries, I just checking. Come out soon though,” she smiles. We both smile and she closes the door halfway.

            “That was a close one,” Jamie whispers.

            “Yeah, no kidding,” I said still smiling.

Author's Note

First draft.