Kite-1

Kite-1

A Chapter by Angie Diane♥♥
"

To clear everything up now. I mentioned in his background he had another brother -.-

"

Kite

                “Try again, Kite. You can do a lot better.” My brother, Ida said. I nodded my head. I focused my energy on nailing my target. I hit it at that point.

                “Did I do well this time, brother?” I asked my brother, but he had already walked off. I tried to hit the target five more times. I was dedicated to doing it perfect. That’s how I got my nickname “Dedicated”. Everyone calls me that, but no one really likes me. It’s all because of that thing. My father doesn’t even love me. My brother barely pays attention, but he has to train me. I was kicked out of school. The teachers were all scared of me.

                I knew that soon I would have to make a journey to another village. I had to train everyday to improve my skills. My older brother was glaring heat at me. He hated having to home school me for my skills. I just continued to practice. I didn’t nail the target a couple of times, but I tried until I did. My brother scoffed at me as I practiced. I wondered what I had done so wrong. I know he hates me for mother leaving, but it was father’s fault. Father blamed me too.

                “You can stop now, brat.” Ida said to me. I looked at him and he was still glaring at me. When he came closer he pushed me into the dirt and kicked me. Tears started to stream down my face. I hated when he kicked me after practice. He did it every day. It was probably because he wasted his time. After he left Father came out. He looked at me and I tried to smile. He didn’t smile back he just looked at me. I decided to make myself some lunch. While I walked past him he slapped me hard on the back of the head.

                “What was that for, Father?” I asked trying not to cry. I knew I was a cry baby, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to be accepted in my village. They didn’t even make me protector after that. The creature inside me felt bad. It was more nurturing than I thought it would be. It hated my father with a passion.

                “You are a terrible child. I wish I never had you. I wish I never put that beast inside of you.” He said glaring coldly at me. The creature came out and pinned my father to the ground. It was choking him.

                “Don’t ever put your hand on your child again, do I make myself clear?” The creature asked my father. I tried to calm the creature down. It was like a mother too me, but I didn’t know what to say. It took my hands from around my father’s neck. He quickly nodded and walked away.

                I just walked around town after that. People were looking at me. They looked more frightened of me than angry. I knew they hated me, but I didn’t know why. I wasn’t the one that wanted to beast put inside of me. It was there doing. It was my father and counsel’s doing. They wanted a protector, but they put the beast inside of me. I just needed a friend. Some that could understand me for me. I was yearning for a friend. I couldn’t do this alone anymore. What teen could do this?

                “Watch where you’re going!” a woman screamed at me. I just looked down at the ground. I ran to the park. Hopefully someone would play with me there. I knew that would never come true. I decided to just do some practice on my other moves.

                I did what I needed to do to practice. My belly started to growl. I had completely forgotten about lunch. I went home to start making myself something to eat. I started to think about my eldest brother. He had gotten really sick and passed away because of it. They never found out what was wrong. The creature thought that my father had been poisoning him, but I didn’t think father would do that. He loved my eldest brother. He also loved my mother who had phoned every once in a while to see how everyone was doing. She asked me all the time how I was, but I didn’t have an answer. I would just answer well…when I knew I was in pain here. I just couldn’t tell mother I was in pain….



© 2012 Angie Diane♥♥


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Featured Review

"I knew that soon I would have to make a journey to another village soon." You'd want to revise this by getting rid of one of the 'soon's' in this line. :P
And maybe mention that he has another brother? Otherwise there's a hole in the story.

Great chapter, I can't wait until Haseo and Kite meet!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Couple of rough spots, but nothing major. Still a very good story and details are great. Just wish the chapters were longer. Moving on

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I thought Kite brother died....?
-Eleanor

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"I knew that soon I would have to make a journey to another village soon." You'd want to revise this by getting rid of one of the 'soon's' in this line. :P
And maybe mention that he has another brother? Otherwise there's a hole in the story.

Great chapter, I can't wait until Haseo and Kite meet!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a great chapter. You write excellent fan-fiction! xx

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

omg coooooool~ i love how the creature cares about Kite, i think its kinda sweet in some weird messed up way, lol. But awesome, i shall read on~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aww it was sad, I feel for Kite. I love the book :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm confused now, but anyways I really like itt, I could relate to Kite

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Unless I missed something does Kite have more than one brother? Cause I know his brother died of the heart attack?

Anyway I loved the Sasuke/Itachi comparisons and differences...Ida trained Kite but unlike Itachi, he didn't like doing so and you can see Kite is as determined as Sasuke. It's nice to see the creature cares for Kite...I wonder if the two creatures know each other?

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it(: a lot can't wait to read more!(:

Xoxo
~a
1"0/100

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 15, 2012
Last Updated on January 26, 2012


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Angie Diane♥♥
Angie Diane♥♥

Not like you need to know..., NJ



About
Name: Angie Diane Age: 22 Birthday: You can guess. -.- I don't feel like telling anyone... Add me on facebook if you want... https://www.facebook.com/BlackedHearted Also just let me know that.. more..

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