September's Rain ~ Shunned

September's Rain ~ Shunned

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Diminished Octaverse. Experimental.

"

September's Rain ~ Shunned


If I lay 'neath a starry sky,

and the moon's laments soon begin,

sweet memories of past would sigh,

and taste the rain b'falling my skin..

of love and lies I kept ~ within.

As it goes, ne'er a dream comes true,

so I shall always never win …

with hot midnight’s sun scorching through. 


I envy those who're in hell,

as I burn in sheer torment;

my tattered heart in its shell,

devoid of my lover's scent.

I shall mend my broken wing,

fly to an eternal spring …

that which only I can bring! 


My fingers thrive to touch

yon iridescent glow;

'pon thin air my hands clutch,

turning my heart to snow.

As, quiet, moon's beam shine,

water lilies ~ repine. 


Oh, soothe this charred soul,

let the grey clouds lift;

your words make me whole.

Though, we are adrift …

your music's my gift. 


My hushed restrain

becomes undone;

September's rain

forever shunned ...


but, I'll twirl,

wildly swirl;

life's a whirl...!


Musk blue,

I knew ...


You.




© 2018 Dr. YumnaKay



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Featured Review

Ha! I am the first commenter! Hahahahahahahaha!
(excuse me for a second)
*leaves room and evily laughs*

honestly, it was not really my type. It's great and all, but I really didn't enjoy it. I'm glad you're trying a new style, and others will love it.
Now, don't think it's awful or anything because I didn't enjoy it!
Remember, this is a love poem. Older generations have experienced heartbreak and will therefore feel something with this poem.
I'm 15. I hardly even know what love is. Therefore, I can't grasp the feeling of this poem.

-sarah

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

3 Months Ago

haha the only commenter ;) :P
I like trying new forms so if anything, I wrote this as an exp.. read more



Reviews

Wow Yumna....you have evolved into a butterfly

A colourful one at that...

Love the feel of pain in this....it speaks to me so much....especially the below lines...

I envy those who're in hell,
as I burn in sheer torment;
my tattered heart in its shell,
devoid of my lover's scent.

Looking fwd to read more of you...

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

3 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your lovely words, Ardra. Your review made me smile. I'm glad you like it (alt.. read more
It’s funny, because I don’t believe you intended this as shape poetry. The formatting gives it the cast of an inverted wine bottle.

The write itself ages from light to full-bodied in just a couple of stanzas. From Beaujolais nouveau to the deepest, dustiest Barolo in that the closing words are whimsically packaged, and yet classics.

It has been my pleasure to read your love today. :):)

V

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

3 Months Ago

I certainly did not intend this as shape poetry but its nice to know it looks like one, perhaps more.. read more
Verse

3 Months Ago

I really do.
Wondrously beautiful, Doc Yumna!
From picture, to title, and presentation, through every well-struck word, line, and verse, you've hit each note in perfect harmony, rhyme, rhythm, and emotional nuance.
The diminishing effect of each verse flows smoothly and seamlessly down from first to final word, and the emotional timbre tugs at one's heart, and goodness, how this verse touches:
Oh, soothe this charred soul,
let the grey clouds lift;
your words make me whole.
Though, we are adrift …
your music's my gift.

Your willingness and developing skills continue to amaze me … you make teaching and sharing a genuine pleasure, Yumna.
Thank you for your faith and trust in me … big hug! ⁓ Richard : )

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

3 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your beautiful review of this piece, Richard! The lines you chose were what ca.. read more
Richard

3 Months Ago

My most humble bow⁓
Ha! I am the first commenter! Hahahahahahahaha!
(excuse me for a second)
*leaves room and evily laughs*

honestly, it was not really my type. It's great and all, but I really didn't enjoy it. I'm glad you're trying a new style, and others will love it.
Now, don't think it's awful or anything because I didn't enjoy it!
Remember, this is a love poem. Older generations have experienced heartbreak and will therefore feel something with this poem.
I'm 15. I hardly even know what love is. Therefore, I can't grasp the feeling of this poem.

-sarah

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

3 Months Ago

haha the only commenter ;) :P
I like trying new forms so if anything, I wrote this as an exp.. read more

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Added on September 5, 2018
Last Updated on September 6, 2018

Experimental Poetry



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