Wit & Wisdom - October 6th 2014

Wit & Wisdom - October 6th 2014

A Chapter by dw817
"

Pocahontas means, "Little Mischief," and she is a playful, free-spirited, brave, and adventurous young woman. (more)

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  W&W October 6th 2014  

  

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01. Pocahontas means, "Little Mischief," and she is a playful, free-spirited, brave, and adventurous young woman.


At one with nature, she knows every tree, waterfall, and wild creature in her forest home. She always seeks the right path, and with her intelligence and strong spirit, she touches and changes all those who know her.


02. The fastest land mammal is the teenager who sees Mom pulling in the driveway and realizes they forgot to do some chores.


03. Beware, some people will sell you a dream and instead deliver a nightmare.


04. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.


05. What if I got a boyfriend ? I wouldn't know what to do ... What do they eat ? How often do they need to be walked ?


06. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.


07. When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you RESPECT HER.


08. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.


09. I love the feeling when you finally get in bed, turn off the lights and think, "I've been wanting to do this since 7:00am this morning."


10. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.


11. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding ? That's my idea of a perfect day !


12. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is, "screeched."


13. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree, that makes it a planet. Therefore chocolate is a salad.


14. All of the clocks in the movie, "Pulp Fiction" are set to 4:20.


15. And a maternity shirt reads, "We are hoping it's a dinosaur."


16. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.


17. Being soaked from rain alone is cold. Being soaked along with your best friends is an adventure.


18. Almonds are a member of the peach family.


19. You're the SHE to my NANIGANS.


20. A cat has 32-muscles in each ear.


21. I know the kids don't like you and pick on you in class. But you still have to go to school. You're the teacher.


22. In most watch advertisements, the displayed time on them is 10:10.


23. One of my favorite things about you is that whenever you do something stupid, you don't hide from it. Instead, you're more like, "Okay, so I have to tell you what I just did ..." and that makes me laugh.


24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's, "It's A Wonderful Life."


25. I speak fluent movie quotes.



26.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to congress in 1946.
Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Coincidence ? Perhaps, read on.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both Presidents were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln was born in 1808.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of 15-letters.

Still a coincidence you say ? It goes on.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named, "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a "Lincoln" car made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Finally,

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.

Some things in this world of ours can be considered coincidental. I believe this particular instance, it was not.


27. A goldfish has a memory span of 3-seconds.


28. My Prince Charming drives a '67 Impala, hunts demons, ghosts, and monsters. Wears a leather jacket and loves pie.


29. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.


30. Your word for today is, "pogonophile." Someone who is fond of, or loves beards.


31. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

32. In England, the speaker of the house is not allowed to speak.


33. Why fit in when you were born to stand out ?


34. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and noticed that a chocolate bar in his pocket melted.


35. You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.


36. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.


37. Happy Teacher Rules #11: Think long and hard before you get out the glitter.


38. Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.


39. I'm not the type of person you should put on speaker phone.


40. A cockroach can live 9 days without its head before it finally starves to death.


41. Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh the things you can think up if you only try.


42. Sometimes success is just getting the laundry into the dryer before the mildew sets in.


43. The word "racecar" and "kayak" are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.


44. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.


45. And the sign in a restroom reads, "Those with short bats please stand closer to the home plate."

46. He said he wanted an 'open' relationship, so I pushed him out an 'open' window. Services will be 'open' casket followed by an 'open' bar.


47. If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew. Just go right along and you'll start happening too.


48. I wish my life had background music so I could understand what the hell is going on.


49. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by simply eliminating a single olive from each salad served in first-class.


50. Irena Sendler
Died, May 12, 2008 (Aged 98) Warsaw, Poland

During WWII, Irena got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto as a plumbing/sewer specialist.

She had an ulterior motive, however.

She smuggled Jewish infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried. She also carried a burlap sack in the back of her truck for larger kids.

She kept a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto.

The solders of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog, and the barking covered the kids and infants noises.

During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2,500 kids and infants.

Ultimately she was caught, however, and the Nazi's broke both of her legs and arms and beat her severely.

Nonetheless she kept a record of the names of all the kids she had smuggled out in a glass jar that she buried under a tree in her backyard.

After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived and tried to reunite the families.

Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.

In 2007 Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize.

She was not selected, however. Al Gore won for a slideshow on Global Warming.




Which of these can you relate to ?

See you next time with 50 more ...

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© 2014 dw817


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26.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to congress in 1946.
Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Coincidence ? Perhaps, read on.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both Presidents were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln was born in 1808.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of 15-letters.

Still a coincidence you say ? It goes on.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named, "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a "Lincoln" car made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Finally,

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.

Some things in this world of ours can be considered coincidental. I believe this particular instance, it was not.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
dw817

6 Years Ago

Indeed, Avinash. That is too many coincidences to be - well - coincidental. I'd be curious to know w.. read more



Reviews


26.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to congress in 1946.
Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Coincidence ? Perhaps, read on.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both Presidents were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln was born in 1808.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of 15-letters.

Still a coincidence you say ? It goes on.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named, "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a "Lincoln" car made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Finally,

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.

Some things in this world of ours can be considered coincidental. I believe this particular instance, it was not.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
dw817

6 Years Ago

Indeed, Avinash. That is too many coincidences to be - well - coincidental. I'd be curious to know w.. read more

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Wit & Wisdom


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dw817
dw817

Fort Worth, TX



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