Part 2, Chapter 42

Return of the soul and realizations

Ch 42

The first thing Jianyu felt was pain in his shoulder. Then he remembered the attack on the camp and the rush of emotion hit him unexpectedly. Fear for Xun and the refugees she had been sheltering, concern for the soldiers of the camp, anger at his brother for his trick. The complex emotions were both familiar and unfamiliar to him. He must have made some indication that he was awake because a cool cloth was laid on his forehead. Jianyu opened his eyes and saw Xun leaning over him.

The rush of emotions he had felt before was drowned in the tidal wave that was his love for Xun. The memory of meeting her in the garden was followed by her in his bedroom, singing. Memories of her letters to him and the way she had learned so quickly as they had conversed. Memories of her caring for him, staying with him when he was a shattered wreck. Her jealousy over his behavior with the other kitchen girls. He was overwhelmed.

“Xun,” her murmured her name reverently as he surged up from the bed, wrapping his arms around her.

After a moment she pulled away from him. “Leng Zai, something is…” her gaze was a little quizzical, but mostly intrigued. 

“I love you,” he blurted. “I’ve loved you for a long time, but I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know or I would have told you sooner. I would have done it better, if I had known…” he was babbling, but everything felt so intense in that moment he couldn’t stop himself. 

Xun placed a finger over his lips to stop him. “I love you, too,” she said, very calmly, before leaning over to kiss him. She pulled back for a moment, looking into his eyes as if to ask if this were truly happening. Jianyu settled his lips back over hers in answer.

They didn’t feel the need for words for a long time.