FB1-34 "Agent Antics"

FB1-34 "Agent Antics"

A Chapter by dw817

I also realized more importantly, he was ignoring me. He was definitely after Tyr and trying to hit her with one of those blue needles from his weird gun. If Tyr got hit, I doubt I could protect her.



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F U T U R E   B A R R I E R
( The 1st Novel )
Secret Technology, Unrequited Love, Absolute Vengeance

© April 2014 Written by David Wicker
Please do not reprint without permission



* * *

This chapter is Rated: EVERYONE

I looked on. "Tyr," I said seriously, "I don't think they're with the police for a criminal case. I think THEY think there's a relationship between the fork, you, and the somehow mysterious lifting up of a hundred pounds of dirt and water without construction equipment."

I continued looking at them. So far they hadn't noticed me and Tyr yet. "Remember the government people I said would drug you, drag you underground, and then do weird experiments on you ?"

Tyr nodded her head. I knew she was really scared now as she had her finger back in her mouth, sucking on it again. She did that when she was thinking, confused, or scared.

I turned my head back to see Tyr's mom who was unsuccessfully trying to clear them off her porch, "Well, that's them now and they're looking for YOU !"

"Those dirtied whatsits !" Tyr said angrily popping her finger out, and then suddenly ran forward for a better view. Startled at her unexpected move, I ran with her pushing my hand on her red head of hair to make sure she ran low to the ground.

We both ducked behind a bush and then I saw her ears wiggle as she tried a yawn. I knew then she was going to do something nasty to them.

Now Tyr lived in a neighborhood with a bunch of dogs and most of them crapped on the grass wherever they pleased. The city never got on to us about it and most people treated it as free fertilizer. To avoid this mess, Tyr and me always walked on the side of the street to get from one place to the next.

As the scary pair of government agents were asking Tyr's Mom angry questions who vehemently denied their accusations, suddenly the dog-crap in the grass flung and hit the agents' super-clean pants near the bottom and stained them badly.

One agent looked down and reached for a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe the mess as more dog crap started flying turning their perfect white pants into brown goo as it smeared across. The other agent stared down in disbelief as one piece of dog-crap started crawling up his pants to reach his chest like a nightmarish living worm.

Tyr's mom covered her mouth in shock at the evil magic show, stepped back, and slammed the door in the agents' faces. More stuff flew to them to hit in their face and chest including wet garbage from garbage pails, trash-bags flew open and ripe tripe was hurled at them. I looked to see Tyr was doing all of this.

In a way I was frightened to see just how powerful
Tyr had gotten at her telekinetic ability, and in another way I was amazed, like it was a great thing to see she was on my side, fighting the baddies like a great quest in an adventure game.

Tyr herself was giggling like mad, concentrating on one old banana peel that inch-wormed across the grass to them, snapping its peel like it was going to bite them. She stopped suddenly when one of the agents suddenly noticed our hiding position and pointed to the other agent to follow him in pursuit.

"Tyr ! We gotta get out of here !" I cried, and then we were off like a shot !

It would've been funny if it wasn't such a serious thing. The agents tried to follow but Tyr looked over her shoulder and activated her telekinesis again; shifting the dog crap to slide on to their shoes so they slipped and fell when they tried to run after us.

We waited a short distance away. The agents were looking more dangerous by the minute and the expressions they had in their faces were anything but friendly. One was reaching in his pocket for something.

Tyr stopped to sit on the grass, giggling like mad, watching their predicament. I shook my head at her, frustrated, trying to get her back up, "This is not the time for jokes Tyr, we're in a real pickle !"

"Pickles Pickles !" Tyr was squeaking with giggles now and holding her toes fell on to her back. "You thinked mr. officer agent sir wanna fresho pickle ?" Then Tyr waved a little finger and a sausage long piece of dogcrap flew off the grass straight into one of the agents' unbelieving mouths. He gagged in frustration, fell over, and didn't get back up.

Tyr was rolling on the grass now laughing hard and holding her sides. "Omigod, that's so funny !" she was screeching. I heard a neighbor open his door to see what all the commotion was about.

I smiled weakly to him. I waved friendly and said the first thing that popped into my head with as cheerful a voice as I could muster, "Science Project !"

He looked quizzically at me. Apparently not liking the super-friendly expression I had on my face, gave me a scared look and ran back in locking the door behind them. It was probably for the best, though I realized I could've yelled to him to call the police or something more useful !

While Tyr was having fun, I knew this situation was going to get dangerous quickly. There was NO way top secret agents were going to let a bunch of kids get the better of them.

"Tyr ! We've got to go ! Tyr !" I said seriously and then suddenly something whizzed past to land next to my foot in the grass.

Tyr continued to roll and laugh in the grass unaware of the shot fired at her.

I stopped to pick up what fell in the grass, and seriously examine it. It was a tiny little blue needle with a glass top to it and a minute amount of clear liquid held in the center. Really quite pretty. I imagined seeing them making a 100-piece chandelier and marveled at how nice they'd look. Then another one whizzed by my ear.

Turning to look, I could see the other agent had a kind of weird plastic-looking gun with a viewfinder and was trying to shoot Tyr's giggling body. Pretty hard to do, actually, as when Tyr had the giggles like she did, she was all over the floor, impossible to catch or reason with.

Another needle flew by. I looked at the agent who was shooting at her. He had taken his sunglasses off and hung them on his shirt pocket. He had his head professionally cocked to one side trying to gauge the right distance, looked back in the viewfinder on the gun and took aim at Tyr's giggling body again.

I also realized more importantly, he was ignoring me. He was definitely after Tyr and trying to hit her with one of those blue needles from his weird gun. If Tyr got hit, I doubt I could protect her then !

* * *

"Tyr !" I cried and grabbing as hard as I was possible, picked her up by the arm off the grass.

Tyr was completely unaware of what was happening. "Owowow ! Dev that hurts whatchu doin' gone to do pull my armed off huh ?" Then she looked over her shoulder, saw the gun the agent was firing and tilted her head really curious about it. "Wow !" she said excitedly.

Finally Tyr, realizing the danger both me and her were in, reached her hand into empty air and whipped it in front of her chest, grabbing forward.

The agent's gun, which was over a dozen feet away, suddenly wrenched from his hand and flew out to challenge hovering in midair, the firing end facing him. The agent stopped pursuit to step back a bit watching mesmerized and glanced occasionally to confirm that Tyr was the one doing it.

Then Tyr pointed her own finger back like it was a gun and giggled saying, "Kapo !" squeezing the trigger with her thumb. The agent's gun exploded into pieces, the pieces falling all directions with the ammo still hovering in the air facing him. He raised his hands and smiled weakly, still trying to back away.

Tyr, enjoying this game started running backwards facing the agent and punctuated the air several times with her index finger, "Zippity zip zippo." she said. The ammo then all fired into the dumbfounded agent who fell over groaning in pain.

I realized we may not have to worry about him now, seeing the needles all stuck to his face, so I paused to look. The shot agent growled at us, then suddenly got up to run back to his car nearby, still parked near Tyr's house, when he looked like he was losing steam and started walking, then reeling his head like he was dizzy fell to his knees.

He got up again and started crawling, put his hand to his forehead for a second, held out one of his hands in front of him to see it was shaking and then fell over like he was too tired to stay awake.

Both agents were felled. I think the one Tyr fed a "pickle" passed out because he wasn't getting back up either. Nasty, I thought to myself.

A dog barked angrily in the distance but that was all. Me and Tyr were huffing, out of breath, and glad to be out of danger now.

Then we heard a familiar voice. "Tyr !" It was Tyr's Mom, Annie.

"Dev !" Tyr said suddenly, and somehow she was crying fitfully again after only minutes of giggling like she was on laughing gas. "I love you," she said seriously. "Please help me." and she fixed those perfect violet eyes back on my own.

"Tyr - " I began, and held her shoulders to show her the seriousness of the situation. "You really did bring a lot of this on yourself. I warned you about using too much magic." I sighed tiredly. "Better go see what your Mom wants."

Tyr kissed me nicely on the lips, no tricks this time, and ran off to see her Mom.

I could hear her voice as she ran off towards her, "I didn't do nuthin' Mummy !" she said her voice full of hurt. Then the really cross voice of her mother who was now thoroughly scolding Tyr and shaking an angry finger at her.

I saw Tyr start to suck busily on her finger now, scared of what was going to happen next. And then, yep, there's the sound I was waiting for to end the conversation.


Annie had lifted Tyr's skirt and spanked her sound and hard once on her too- big- for- her- own- britches pantied bottom for misbehaving earlier. Tyr cried REALLY loud now as she ran inside, rubbing her bottom with one hand, and still busily sucking on her finger for comfort with the other.

I smiled to myself knowing it was a rare treat to get to see Tyr in trouble for ANYTHING as she usually weaseled her way out of most everything by confusing everyone around her with her 3 primary skills.

She held a black belt in all 3 professions: Confusion, Deception, and Humiliation (of others). I knew this from past experiences with her. I laughed. For all the grown-up girl Tyr thought she was, she still cried like a baby when her mamma spanked her on her bare bottom.

I looked to the sky and grinned. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Then I turned to face the two unconscious agents. I didn't know how long the blue needles would last on that one agent or how long a "pickle" could knock out the other. I went to the "pickled" agent and checked his shirt. No ID. No wallet. No other gadgets. But he did have a funny little electric wire up to his ear.

I tugged on it curiously and a
spark of light emitted from the wire itself followed by a few drops of blood around his ear. Omigod I thought to myself he's some kind of government cyborg !

For a moment I imagined seeing a truckload of the cyborg-like people firing laser pistols at people as they ran away in fear. Makes a good movie, Dev, but that's not what's happening here.

Then I thought more seriously. No, but someone is listening to what he's listening to, or they were until I broke contact with the wire.

Digging in his shirt I found a card sewn in the lining:

Agent Deccos 0033-3822.163. ARKOS Research Institute.

I ripped it out to keep.

I scrubbed his pockets to find anything, nothing, but then I found Tyr's glass fork, apparently washed and cleaned. Undoubtedly earlier for fingerprints. Great ! They can't do anything to us I thought without this evidence so I put it in my pocket.

The agent I was examining suddenly started to rise groggily. Since I was done examining him, I ran away quickly to check the other agent. He was snoring soundly and not just his face but chest had a half-dozen of those little blue needles sticking in them.

I looked at his face closely in the light. All the needles still had some of that clear liquid in them, so they could probably be used again !

I pulled them all out and wrapped them in a bit of tissue to stick in my pants pocket keeping one in my shirt pocket for safe-keeping. Then I also checked his shirt-lining for an ID and was pleased to have found:

Agent Kelther 0033-3821.769. ARKOS Research Institute.

His ID card was also sewn into the pocket so I pulled it out tearing the shirt again.

Remembering the first agent I reached for his ear and popped out the wire with the familiar blood drops and spark of electricity. I didn't want anyone listening in.

I could hear the other agent behind me gagging into the grass from Tyr's all-natural doggy treat. I didn't have much time. I checked Kelther's pockets.

There was a business card in his pocket with electronic circuit-board stuff on the back. But as soon as I touched it, it started hissing and released an acrid vapor melting like acid so I tossed it gingerly in the grass where it dissolved rapidly, igniting a few grass blades that smoldered out.

I paused for a moment and then examined the card I pulled out of his shirt and turned it over to see if there was anything useful there. It had 3 letters water-relieved in it, "ARI." and not easy to see unless you were looking for it.


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